Love is complex, with different types and components. Sternberg's theory breaks it down into intimacy, passion, and commitment, creating eight love types. Understanding these helps us navigate relationships better.
Passionate love brings intense emotions, while companionate love grows over time. Attachment styles from childhood influence adult relationships. Intimacy and commitment are key factors in maintaining strong, lasting connections.
Types of Love
Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love
- Sternberg's triangular theory proposes three components of love: intimacy, passion, and commitment
- Intimacy involves feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness in relationships
- Passion encompasses drives connected to romance, physical attraction, and sexual consummation
- Commitment includes short-term decision to love someone and long-term commitment to maintain that love
- Theory combines these components to create eight different types of love:
- Non-love: absence of all three components
- Liking: only intimacy present (friendship)
- Infatuation: only passion present (crush or lust)
- Empty love: only commitment present (arranged marriages)
- Romantic love: intimacy and passion present (new romantic relationships)
- Companionate love: intimacy and commitment present (long-term friendships)
- Fatuous love: passion and commitment present (whirlwind romances)
- Consummate love: all three components present (ideal complete love)
Passionate and Companionate Love
- Passionate love characterized by intense emotions, sexual attraction, and anxiety
- Often experienced at the beginning of romantic relationships
- Involves physiological arousal (increased heart rate, sweating)
- Can lead to obsessive thoughts and idealization of partner
- Typically declines over time as relationship progresses
- Companionate love develops gradually over time
- Based on deep affection, mutual understanding, and commitment
- Characterized by stability, trust, and intimacy
- Often seen in long-term marriages or close friendships
- Can coexist with passionate love in healthy long-term relationships
Romantic Love and Limerence
- Romantic love combines elements of passionate and companionate love
- Involves strong emotional and physical attraction
- Includes desire for long-term commitment and partnership
- Often associated with "falling in love" and early stages of relationships
- Limerence describes an intense, involuntary state of romantic attraction
- Characterized by intrusive thoughts, heightened empathy, and desire for reciprocation
- Can lead to mood swings, anxiety, and physical symptoms (loss of appetite)
- Usually temporary, lasting from a few months to several years
- May evolve into more stable forms of love or fade completely
Relationship Dynamics
Attachment Styles in Adult Relationships
- Attachment styles developed in childhood influence adult romantic relationships
- Four main adult attachment styles:
- Secure attachment: comfortable with intimacy and independence
- Anxious-preoccupied: desire extreme closeness, fear abandonment
- Dismissive-avoidant: value independence, uncomfortable with emotional intimacy
- Fearful-avoidant: desire closeness but fear getting hurt
- Attachment styles affect:
- Communication patterns in relationships
- Conflict resolution strategies
- Levels of trust and intimacy
- Relationship satisfaction and longevity
Intimacy and Commitment in Relationships
- Intimacy involves emotional closeness, vulnerability, and self-disclosure
- Develops through shared experiences and mutual understanding
- Requires trust and acceptance between partners
- Can be fostered through open communication and empathy
- Commitment represents dedication to maintaining the relationship
- Includes both cognitive and emotional components
- Short-term commitment: decision to love and stay with a partner
- Long-term commitment: dedication to making the relationship work
- Factors influencing commitment levels:
- Satisfaction with the relationship
- Quality of alternatives (perceived availability of other partners)
- Investment size (time, emotional energy, shared resources)
- Relationship maintenance behaviors:
- Expressing affection and appreciation
- Supporting partner's goals and personal growth
- Engaging in shared activities and rituals
- Addressing conflicts constructively