Show Don't Tell Examples

Why This Matters

"Show don't tell" isn't just a writing cliché—it's the fundamental difference between prose that lands flat and prose that makes readers feel something. When workshop feedback says your writing "tells too much," instructors are pointing to a craft issue that affects everything from character development to emotional resonance to narrative pacing. You're being tested on your ability to translate abstract emotional states into concrete, observable details that readers can experience alongside your characters.

The techniques in this guide demonstrate core creative writing principles: sensory immersion, characterization through action, subtext in dialogue, and the strategic use of imagery and figurative language. Each technique answers the same question differently: How do I make my reader discover meaning rather than receive it passively? Don't just memorize these strategies—understand when each one works best and why it creates stronger emotional impact than direct statement.

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Physical and Behavioral Cues

The body often betrays what the mind tries to hide. Instead of naming emotions directly, skilled writers translate internal states into observable physical phenomena—the external manifestation of internal experience.

Describing Physical Reactions Instead of Emotions

• Body language replaces emotional labels—clenched fists, crossed arms, or a turned shoulder communicate anger, defensiveness, or rejection without stating them outright
• Physiological responses create authenticity—sweating palms, a racing heartbeat, or shallow breathing ground abstract feelings in the reader's own bodily memory
• Facial microexpressions add nuance—a furrowed brow, a tightened jaw, or eyes that won't meet another character's reveal emotional complexity that single-word labels can't capture

Showing Internal Thoughts Through Behavior

• External actions externalize internal conflict—a character who paces, reorganizes objects, or starts tasks without finishing them shows anxiety more powerfully than "she felt anxious"
• Repetitive gestures signal subconscious states—nail-biting, hair-twisting, or foot-tapping become character signatures that readers learn to interpret
• Choices reveal inner struggles—what a character does when faced with a decision shows their values and fears more reliably than introspection

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Sensory Immersion Techniques

Readers experience your story through their senses. Abstract concepts like "danger" or "comfort" become tangible when filtered through what characters see, hear, smell, taste, and touch.

Using Sensory Details to Create Atmosphere

• Engage all five senses strategically—most writers default to sight, but smell triggers memory, sound creates tension, and texture grounds readers in physical space
• Mood emerges from sensory choices—warm lamplight and the smell of bread suggest safety; flickering fluorescents and antiseptic suggest unease
• Sensory contrast amplifies emotional impact—a child's laughter in a bombed-out building, or the smell of perfume in a hospital room, creates meaning through juxtaposition

Employing Specific and Vivid Imagery

• Precision beats generality—"crimson maple leaves" creates a sharper image than "red leaves"; "the copper taste of blood" outperforms "it tasted bad"
• Original imagery resonates emotionally—"the sun dipped below the horizon like a tired traveler finally reaching home" earns its length through emotional connection
• Cliché-avoidance requires active effort—if you've heard the comparison before, your reader has too; push past first-draft metaphors to find fresher alternatives

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Character Revelation Methods

In strong fiction, readers learn who characters are by watching them act and listening to them speak—not by reading the author's assessments of their personalities.

Revealing Character Through Actions and Dialogue

• Decisions demonstrate values—a character who stops to help a stranger shows compassion; one who pretends not to notice shows self-preservation or indifference
• Speech patterns reveal identity—slang, formality, vocabulary range, and sentence structure all communicate age, education, region, and social position without exposition
• Contradictions create depth—a character who claims bravery but hesitates at the threshold, or who insists they don't care while their voice cracks, becomes three-dimensional through inconsistency

Demonstrating Relationships Through Interactions

• Body language maps power dynamics—who leans in, who steps back, who interrupts, and who waits to speak all reveal relationship hierarchies
• Conflict and cooperation patterns define bonds—siblings who bicker but close ranks against outsiders show a different relationship than colleagues who are polite but never vulnerable
• Evolving interactions track relationship arcs—changes in how characters speak to and touch each other over time show relationship development without narration

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Language-Level Techniques

"Showing" operates at the sentence level too. Your verb choices, figurative language, and syntax all determine whether prose feels immediate or distant.

Using Active Verbs Instead of Passive Ones

• Strong verbs create immediacy—"she sprinted" puts readers in motion; "she was running" keeps them at a distance observing
• Eliminate weak constructions ruthlessly—"was," "were," "began to," and "started to" often signal opportunities for stronger, more direct phrasing
• Subject-as-doer clarifies action—"The door slammed" (active) engages differently than "The door was slammed" (passive); choose based on what you want readers to focus on

Incorporating Metaphors and Similes

• Comparisons create emotional shortcuts—"her smile was like finding a twenty-dollar bill in old jeans" communicates unexpected delight through shared experience
• Fresh figurative language earns attention—readers skim past "cold as ice" but pause at "cold as a landlord's heart"
• Relevance matters as much as originality—metaphors should emerge from your story's world; a farmer character thinks in agricultural comparisons, not nautical ones

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Structural and Pacing Strategies

"Showing" isn't just about word choice—it's about how you structure information and control the reader's experience of time.

Revealing Backstory Through Present-Day Scenes

• Present actions can imply past trauma—a character who flinches at loud noises or avoids eye contact with authority figures reveals history without flashback
• Dialogue can carry exposition naturally—characters can reference shared memories in conversation, giving readers context through interaction rather than narration
• Behavior patterns suggest formative experiences—a character who hoards food or compulsively checks locks shows their past through present habits

Creating Tension Through Pacing and Description

• Sentence length controls rhythm—short, punchy sentences accelerate tension; longer, winding sentences slow readers down for reflection or dread
• Strategic withholding maintains suspense—unanswered questions and delayed revelations keep readers turning pages
• Detailed description can heighten or release tension—lingering on a ticking clock builds anxiety; lingering on a sunset after conflict provides emotional release

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Quick Reference Table

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Self-Check Questions

1. You want to show a character is grieving without using the word "sad" or "grief." Which two techniques from this guide would you combine, and why do they work together?

2. What's the difference between using physical reactions and using behavioral patterns to show emotion? Give an example of when you'd choose each.

3. A workshop reader says your dialogue "tells too much about the characters." Using the character revelation techniques above, how would you revise a line like "I'm a very organized person who hates surprises"?

4. Compare and contrast how sensory details and figurative language each contribute to "showing." When might you use one instead of the other?

5. If an assignment asks you to reveal a character's traumatic past without using flashback or direct exposition, which techniques from this guide would you employ? Describe a specific scene that demonstrates your approach.