Slowly Going Crazy

Published on Jun 5, 2019

This past school year has probably been the roughest year out of them all. There were a lot of “firsts” this year. First AP class, first time I actually had to study to get through a class, first time I was overwhelmed with an unbearable amount of homework with an unbelievably small amount of time to do it. It made this past year seem like nothing more than a black hole trying to suck me in until I just gave up. And with the academic pressures pulling at me every which way, I also had to deal with my own problems, such as fake friends and people talking about me behind my back.

The “bad” in my life seemed to just pile up, one thing after another, with no time to breathe in between. It took an unbelievable amount of work to keep a good grade in AP World, as it was the first actually challenging class I have ever taken. I have never had to study for a class before to easily pass with an A. On the other hand, even with hours and hours of studying and homework for AP World, I was still only able to jump my grade up from a B last minute (also shoutout to Fiveable for their help with this class! 🙂 ). Even worse, I honestly believed I could get a 5 on the AP Exam and now that it’s over it will be a miracle if I can even get a 4. During the last week of school, homework was overwhelming. Taking Pre-AP English 2 and preparing for a 15 minute long presentation in Management was enough to kill me. Having to do more homework for AP World after the exam was overwhelming. Another downside that I have never experienced before this year. Personal issues piled on, too. Dealing with fake friends this year was not fun. Trust me. This isn’t the first time I’ve had to deal with that kind of thing though. I learned that one of my best friends, someone I considered my only real friend at one point last year, was talking about me behind my back almost daily. After losing my best-best friend of almost 5 years last year from the same scenario, it just felt like another stab in the back. It left me feeling alone, and feeling like I was a terrible person who isn’t even worth being friends with.

But my year wasn’t all negative. The bad is what you tend to focus on most of the time. But it isn’t the only thing that matters. In the past year, a lot of good has come my way as well. For example, it was the first year our school has ever made a Literary Magazine, and I was lucky enough to be on the staff. Our staff has formed its own little family as we have collectively grown up so much. We learned all things we needed to know to make sure we produced a great magazine! Our magazine, Yawp, is officially done and turned out great! We have already made close to $1000, selling magazines at $12 each. On the bright side, I was able to make it through AP World with an A both semesters. I’ve been able to get closer with my two best friends, meet and make three amazing online best friends through Discord. I’ve grown so much as a writer due to Lit Mag. Our choir got superior ratings in every section in CPA (Choral Performance Assessment- a competition all of our choirs do that asses us on 3 songs and sight reading). Most importantly, I was able to help welcome my newest niece, Azalea, into this world!

I wouldn’t of made it through this year without the few people who stuck with me the whole time.  My mom is always willing to listen to me and my rants about school. While I’m sure she gets worn out from the many kids she babysits, she is still always there. My nephew, Henry, who is only two years old, has helped me push through this year. He can be a major brat, but he is still the sweetest little 2 year old redhead I know. I couldn’t have asked for a better nephew! My two best friends, Bri, who always helped me smile, and Muskaan, were always there to help support and motivate me. They have all made this incredibly rough year a little smoother for me.

For all of that, from the good to the bad, I couldn’t be more thankful (or exhausted).

📖 2020 ap exam study guide

Prepare for the new 2020 AP Exam format with weekly lesson plans, study materials, and FRQ practice! Now available in 15 subjects.

A Hard Decision for Schedule Conflicts

A Hard Decision for Schedule Conflicts

Schedule release can be nerve-wracking for many students who aren’t sure if their courses fit in together. For me, my schedule was not what I wanted.

In Memory: Share Your Story

In Memory: Share Your Story

It’s important to share the story of the people you have lost. It will help you become more comfortable about their passing.


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *