---
title: "Self-Soothing | Developmental Psychology"
description: "Self-soothing is a child's ability to calm themselves during distress, from thumb-sucking to breathing, and it shapes emotional regulation in Developmental Psychology."
canonical: "https://fiveable.me/developmental-psychology/key-terms/self-soothing"
type: "key-term"
subject: "Developmental Psychology"
unit: "Unit 6"
---

# Self-Soothing | Developmental Psychology

## Definition

Self-soothing is the ability to calm yourself during stress or discomfort, especially in infancy and early childhood. In Developmental Psychology, it shows how children build emotional regulation with and without caregiver support.

## What It Is

Self-soothing in Developmental Psychology is the set of behaviors children use to calm themselves when they feel upset, overstimulated, or anxious. It starts very early, often before a child can use words, and it is one of the first signs that emotional regulation is starting to develop.

For infants, self-soothing is usually physical. A baby might suck a thumb, hold a blanket, rock, or turn away from too much noise or stimulation. These actions do not mean the child is ignoring distress. They are ways of managing it at a stage when the nervous system is still learning how to settle down after arousal.

As children grow, self-soothing gets more flexible and more intentional. A toddler may ask for a favorite toy, while an older child might take deep breaths, count, draw, listen to music, or pause before reacting. The basic idea stays the same: the child is using something internal, or something they can control, to reduce emotional intensity.

Self-soothing also develops with support. Caregivers often begin by soothing the child from the outside, through holding, feeding, rocking, or speaking calmly. Over time, that repeated support teaches the child patterns they can begin to use on their own. So self-soothing is not just an isolated habit, it grows out of earlier caregiver-child regulation.

A common misconception is that self-soothing means a child should always calm down alone. In reality, healthy development usually includes both co-regulation and self-regulation. If a child never gets comfort from adults, that is not the same as strong self-soothing. The goal is gradual independence, not emotional isolation.

## Why It Matters

Self-soothing matters because it sits right at the bridge between infant dependence and later emotional independence. In Developmental Psychology, it helps explain how children move from needing outside comfort to managing distress with more control.

This term also connects to later outcomes. Children who build flexible self-soothing skills often handle frustration, separation, and conflict more effectively. They may recover faster after disappointment, join peer interactions more smoothly, and show less intense anxiety when something feels scary or unfamiliar.

The concept is especially useful when you are looking at early attachment and caregiver behavior. A securely attached child usually has caregivers who respond consistently, which gives the child repeated practice with calming down. That background makes it easier to understand why some children can settle themselves quickly while others stay highly reactive.

Self-soothing can also help you interpret developmental problems. If a child has trouble calming down, you might look for high emotional reactivity, a difficult temperament, or inconsistent caregiving. That does not mean one factor caused everything, but it gives you a cleaner way to explain patterns in a case study or class scenario.

## Connections

### Emotional Regulation

Self-soothing is one early way emotional regulation shows up. Emotional regulation is the broader ability to manage feelings and arousal, while self-soothing is the child-sized behavior you can actually observe, like thumb-sucking, cuddling a blanket, or using breathing to calm down.

### Attachment Theory

Attachment theory helps explain where self-soothing comes from. When caregivers respond reliably, children learn that distress can end and that calming is possible. Over time, that external support can become internal coping, so self-soothing grows out of earlier attachment experiences.

### [Parental Socialization](/developmental-psychology/key-terms/parental-socialization)

Parental socialization shapes which calming strategies children learn and which emotions are acceptable to show. Adults teach self-soothing through modeling, reminders, and responses to distress, such as encouraging a child to breathe, name feelings, or use a quiet activity instead of escalating.

### [difficult temperament](/developmental-psychology/key-terms/difficult-temperament)

A difficult temperament can make self-soothing harder to develop because the child may react more strongly and recover more slowly. In those cases, the same calming strategy may not work as quickly, so the child may need more caregiver support before independent soothing becomes realistic.

## On the AP Exam

A quiz or short-answer item might show a crying infant, a toddler clutching a blanket, or a child taking deep breaths after frustration, and ask you to identify self-soothing. In a case study, you would explain whether the child is calming themselves directly or relying on caregiver co-regulation. In an essay or discussion prompt, you might trace how self-soothing changes from infant behaviors like thumb-sucking to older strategies like counting or drawing. The best responses connect the behavior to emotional regulation, not just to being "calm."

## self-soothing vs Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation is the broader process of managing emotions, while self-soothing is one specific way that process can happen. Self-soothing is usually more concrete and observable, especially in young children, because it refers to the actual calming behavior a child uses.

## Key Takeaways

- Self-soothing is a child's ability to calm themselves during stress, discomfort, or overstimulation.
- In infancy, self-soothing often looks physical, like thumb-sucking, rocking, or holding a comfort object.
- As children grow, self-soothing can become more intentional, such as breathing, counting, drawing, or listening to music.
- Self-soothing develops alongside caregiver support, so it is linked to co-regulation and attachment experiences.
- Strong self-soothing skills usually point to better emotional regulation and smoother peer and stress coping later on.

## FAQs

### What is self-soothing in Developmental Psychology?

Self-soothing is the ability to calm yourself when you feel upset, scared, or overloaded. In Developmental Psychology, it is studied as an early part of emotional regulation that starts in infancy and becomes more flexible as children grow.

### What are examples of self-soothing in children?

Common examples include thumb-sucking, cuddling a blanket, rocking, taking deep breaths, counting, drawing, or listening to calming music. The exact behavior depends on the child's age and what coping tools they have learned.

### Is self-soothing the same as emotional regulation?

Not exactly. Emotional regulation is the bigger skill of managing emotions, while self-soothing is one specific strategy used to reduce distress. A child can self-soothe by rocking or breathing, but emotional regulation also includes other skills like waiting, reframing, or seeking support.

### How do caregivers help children develop self-soothing?

Caregivers help by responding calmly, providing comfort, and modeling ways to settle down. Over time, that support teaches children what calming feels like, so they can begin to use those strategies on their own instead of only relying on adults.

## Related Study Guides

- [6.3 Emotional Regulation and Expression](/developmental-psychology/unit-6/emotional-regulation-expression/study-guide/2qhMf7FpTvVbHVjO)

## About This Document

Canonical Fiveable pages are available as Markdown at the same path plus `.md`.

- [llms.txt](https://fiveable.me/llms.txt): index of Fiveable's sections and URL patterns
- [llms-full.txt](https://fiveable.me/llms-full.txt): complete subject and unit listing
- [MCP server](https://fiveable.me/mcp): call Fiveable as tools instead of fetching pages (`https://fiveable.me/api/mcp`)
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